The truth.

Guess you have been waiting for this post, so here I am writing especially for you.

It took me awhile to catch my breath, wipe all my tears, get up from my bed, staring at my blank page screen and start to type this post. I have no idea what to say, what I really want to write, and how to describe what I feel. No, there's nothing to explain, I've told you everything I needed and I ever wanted to say. No, I aint gonna write any other 'last letter' for you, you've already had one. Perhaps you want to know how am I going through these past few days, it's been really really tough to be honest. I kept my eyes close night and day, wishing I could get more sleep waiting for somebody to wake me up and tell me this whole thing is just a nightmare, yet I am constantly waking every 2-3 hours just to check my phone. Sometimes I made myself a cup of milo so I could at least smile when I meet people cause it's like the hardest thing to do for now. I tortured my self; I checked your fb, saw picts of you had a good party, deleted pict of me, got your status private etc back to my bed and cried. I messaged 1-2 friends of mine hoping they could cheer me up but nah, it didn't work. I watched my favorite episode of glee over and over again, tried all the best to make myself happier, but again it didn't work. It's actually beyond my expectation that I am felling 56789765x worse than the last time we broke up, even worse than when I failed my illustrator project, missed my assessment or when I collapsed for the first time. This time I am literally dying I am hurt so much. But one thing I promise you; I will be fine, may be not tonight, tomorrow, next month, next year, I don't know when. But I promise I'll be. Oh and even after all the pain you put me through, I don't hate you, really. There's no regret at all. I have learned so much from our relationship, things that no one will understand until they put themselves in this position and know exactly how it feels like.

People say, you don't know what you have got till its gone.
The truth is, you knew exactly what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.

Some say love has no distance, it doesn't matter how far you are if you really love someone, honesty, love and trust for that relationship that count.
The truth is, distance really does matter. Even harder when you are a single fighter.

Palo Coelho says, If you really want something, fight for it and all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
The truth is, it doesn't matter how hard you fight, if it is not meant to be it'll never be.

Khalil Gibran said, if you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they were never were.
The truth is, if you really love someone, never ever let them go, hold them, trust them, and love them. Once you let them go, you'll lose them forever, they might be return but they'd never be the same as they used to be.

John Mayer says, say what you need to say, it's better to say too much than never say what you need to say.
The truth is, some things are better left unsaid.

The say, time heals all wounds.
The truth is, some pain just simply have no cure.

You said, you want to stop hurting me, hence you're breaking up with me.
The truth is, the moment you left me it is when you hurt me the most. You tore every single piece of my soul apart, and if it's what you really want. I have nothing left to say.